Christmas poems for my family

 For my future brother-in-law-

Moon

Her body is adorned in white lace of starlight
Her face glows

Washing the world in a light

White as the shells at the seaside

Delicate as seafoam

She watches a young man fall in love with a young woman

She watches the greatest tragedies

And she can do nothing

They can’t see her smile

Her tears

All she can do is watch

Watch and love

  

For my big sister-

My Big Sister

I sit in the corner

I wait

It’s taken years of practice

To be able to wait this long

I expect to wait longer

I trust in God

He knows what’s going to happen

When it seems like it’s raining lava and fire

I’m here

I don’t know you

I may be a ghost to you

Just another person in your way

No matter what you think

I want you to know

I love my big sister

For my big sister-

I Was Them

You take the judgmental words with a well-practiced smile

You ache to be loved, but watch people pass you by with tears tucked in the back of your throat

You’ve learned not to let anyone in

Anyone but me

I see it

I see the scream behind the crumbling smile

I see the tears as they run down your perfect face

I feel the anger

I feel the depression 

I feel the trauma

The difference between us

Is that I will show it

I know their words

I know their thoughts

I know their expressions

Because I was them

But now

Now I’m here

I’m on your side

I used to mock you

Now I’d show anyone who spoke a foul word to you what years of depression and hatred look like when they’re driven straight into the heart

I used to hit you

Now I’d show anyone who touches you what it feels like to have the bottled-up fury of ten dragons poured out on them

I used to fight you

Now I’d rise like a titan from the depths of hell against anyone who even approaches you

I used to stick my tongue out at you

Now I’d stare anyone who even frowns at you into their grave

For my mom-

I’ll Make You Proud

I hold my chin high

I harden my heart

My eyes turn into guns

Ready to shoot a hurtful comment at anyone who contradicts me

I don’t know

If I show how weak I am

How scared I am

Will they care?

Will they believe me?

I’m sorry

My habit of hardening myself against the world

I’ve hurt you, I know

I don’t want to 

Please believe me

I’ve hurt myself, too

I’ve hurt everyone

I want to keep everyone out

To keep them safe

You want to be close to me

I want the same

But I’m afraid

Afraid I’ll hurt you

Hurt anyone who gets too close

Please accept my apology

For my actions

Before

Now

And going forward

I want to change

Change for the better

I pray every night

For change

I begin to climb from my hole

But chains of sin

My habits

Pull me back in

All I can say is

“I’m fine.”

Because no one can understand

Only God

So continue to bear with me

For I will change

I will make bad decisions along the way

But I will make you proud

I promise

For my future sister-in-law-

Love Flies On the Wings of Angels

Her hair of red

Blazing like a fire gracing her beautiful face

Eyelashes like a butterfly’s wings

Kiss her freckled cheeks

And frame her eyes

Like crystals of the ocean

Shining so a million diamonds couldn’t come close to matching their beauty

Pretty lips

Through which pass the soft and graceful whispering of the stars

Galadriel must be jealous

This lady of light

Who has captured my brother’s heart

Who holds it in her gentle hands

My brother’s lips part in words of love and peace

I hear his laugh as it was when we were young

Light and jolly

His eyes shine as I’ve never seen before

Following her

As a child in love

Pure and simple

He softens at her touch

He wants nothing more than to be with her

I love to see them

For when your brother falls in love

There is no feeling like it

As if you are flying through the clouds on the wings of an angel

For my dear big brother-

The Wind to Dance With

Why do we insist on having humans to accompany us?

Humans lie

Betray

Scoff

Mock

Sabatoge

Blackmail

And abuse

So why?

When we have the wind to dance with

The stars to talk with

And the ground to steady us

For my papa-

A Dog’s Best Friend

You may think that

When your dog wakes

He only thinks of his walk,

His food

His friend

His nap

But then he comes to you first

Not for those things

But for love

And he trusts that

You will walk him

You will feed him

You will take him to see his friend

You will take him home for his nap

But most of all

He trusts that you will love him

Because only through undying love

Do all these actions happen every day

Every day till he dies

Dies trusting you, or fearing you

It’s up to you

Not him

For my grandmother-

To Fly

Paper-thin feathers

Wind graces their tips

Escape to the skies

From the rush and tumble of life

Watch from above

The twinkling city lights

A dance with the stars

For my big brother-

Tiger

Lurking under the marsh waters

The ace of spades

A face striped with war paint black as coal

Lava-like fur

Still blazes under the water

This creature lies in wait

Parting the water with its paws

A boat passes by

The creature surfaces

Rounded ears pricked

Claws, sharper than butchery knives

Teeth, longer than a finger and thicker than an arm

A figure sits in the back of the boat

Laughing with gusto

His partner in the front chuckles along

Suddenly, the laughing drops to a sickening gurgle

The partner looks back to see nothing

The man is gone

Like a vole borne away by an owl

Blood loosens into the water, unfurling like red silk, thinning as it drifts away

Gentle ripples of the tainted water

Near the end of the boat is all that’s left

No sign of a struggle

Just a quick, horrid death